IEP meetings can feel big. There may be six or more people at the table, a stack of reports, and a lot of acronyms. This checklist breaks it into small steps. You don't have to do all of them. Pick the ones that help.
Before the meeting
- Confirm the date, time, and place. The school must try to schedule the meeting at a time and place you both agree on, and tell you early enough that you can attend. If the time doesn't work, you can ask for another one. You and the school can also agree to use phone or video.
- Ask who will be there. The meeting notice should list who is coming. The IEP team includes you, at least one general education teacher (if your child is or may be in general education), at least one special education teacher or provider, a district representative, and someone who can explain evaluation results.
- Ask for drafts and reports ahead of time. Request copies of any evaluation reports, progress reports, and draft goals a few days before, so you have time to read them. You have the right to look at your child's education records, and the school must respond without unnecessary delay and before any IEP meeting (and never more than 45 days after your request).
- Read the current IEP. Note which goals were met, which weren't, and which services happened.
- Write your parent concerns. A short list, in your words. You can ask that it be included in the IEP.
- Write down your child's strengths. What they love, what they're good at, what calms them.
- Gather your record. Notes, emails, work samples, and private evaluations (if you have them).
- Decide on your top 3 asks. If the meeting runs short, these are the ones you don't want to leave without.
- Bring support if you want. You can bring someone who knows your child or special education, like a friend, advocate, or private therapist. It's polite to tell the school ahead of time.
- Plan for your body, too. Water, a snack, a fidget, headphones for after. You're allowed to need a break.
During the meeting
- Bring an agenda. Ask that your concerns be discussed, not just tucked in at the end.
- Take notes, or ask someone to. Write who said what, and any promises made.
- Ask what acronyms mean. It's fine to say "Can you say that without the acronym?" Our IEP acronym guide can help.
- Check that goals are measurable. Ask: "How will we measure this? How often? Who will measure it?"
- Ask about services in detail. How many minutes, how often, in what setting, and who provides them.
- Ask about the least restrictive environment. How much time will your child spend with peers without disabilities, and what supports make that possible?
- Ask about behavior, if relevant. If behavior is getting in the way of learning, the team must consider positive behavioral interventions and supports. You can ask about an FBA and BIP.
- Ask for it in writing. If the team says no to a request, you can ask for Prior Written Notice. That's a written explanation of what the school refuses or proposes, and why.
- You don't have to sign today. In many places you can take the IEP home to read before you agree. Rules on signing vary by state, so ask what your signature means.
- Take a break if you need one. You can say, "I'd like five minutes."
After the meeting
- Write a short follow-up email. Thank the team and list what you understood was agreed. This creates a written record.
- Get a copy of the final IEP. The school must give you a copy at no cost.
- Read it carefully. Check that what was agreed actually made it in.
- Share it with your child's teachers and providers if they weren't there, or ask the school how they will be informed. The school must make the IEP available to each teacher and provider responsible for it.
- Put dates on your calendar. Progress reports, the annual review, and the next reevaluation. See IEP deadlines.
- Keep logging. Note how things go over the next weeks. If something isn't working, you can ask for a meeting at any time. You don't have to wait a year.
- Rest. You did a hard thing.
Questions you can borrow
- "What data is this based on?"
- "What would it look like if this goal were met?"
- "What will you try if this isn't working by the next progress report?"
- "Can you show me where that is written in the IEP?"
- "Can I get that in writing?"
Keep this checklist in your pocket
Tiny Advocate's Meeting mode puts an editable agenda, calm prompts, and an acronym cheat sheet on your phone, next to your notes and documents. Try it in the demo, or join as a founding family.
Not legal advice. This page shares general information about federal law. It is not legal advice. Rules vary by state and district. For help with your situation, contact your state's Parent Training and Information Center or a special education attorney or advocate.