Short version: Unless a court order says otherwise, both parents usually keep rights to their child's education records and to take part in school life. Your custody order controls who makes educational decisions, so read it first and share it with the school.
Know what the rules say
- Under FERPA, schools give full rights to either parent unless there is a court order, state law or legally binding document that says otherwise (34 CFR 99.4).
- Virginia law says that unless a court order says otherwise, a noncustodial parent should not be denied the chance to take part in school activities solely because of noncustodial status (Code of Virginia § 22.1-4.3).
- Who signs consent for an evaluation or services can depend on your custody order. Ask the school how it handles this and give them a copy of the relevant part of the order.
Communication tips
- Put school talk in writing. Email or a co-parenting app creates one record and lowers tension.
- Ask the school to send notices to both parents. Give both addresses and emails.
- Share one timeline. One list of referral dates, meetings and deadlines avoids "I never heard about that."
- Agree on goals before the meeting. A short call or email about what each of you sees at home helps the team.
- Keep the meeting about the child. Save custody or money issues for another place.
- Bring the same documents. Exchange outside evaluations and report cards ahead of time.
- Ask for an interpreter or separate meeting logistics if needed; the school can often arrange phone or video participation.
How Tiny Advocate helps
Keep meetings, documents and dates in one place, then export or share summaries so both homes see the same facts. See the IEP meeting checklist.
Sources
- Code of Virginia § 22.1-4.3
- 34 CFR 99.4 (FERPA, rights of parents)
- U.S. Department of Education Student Privacy
Questions parents ask
Can both divorced parents attend IEP meetings in Virginia?
Usually yes, unless a court order limits a parent's rights. Check your custody order and tell the school about any restrictions.
Can a noncustodial parent see school records?
Under FERPA, yes, unless a court order, state law or legally binding document specifically revokes those rights (34 CFR 99.4).
Who signs consent for an evaluation?
It can depend on your custody order. Ask the school how it handles consent and share the relevant part of the order.
More Virginia guides
All Virginia guides · Evaluation timeline · Request letter · 504 vs IEP · Glossary
Not legal advice. This page shares general information about Virginia and federal special education rules as we read them on November 3, 2026. It is not legal advice. Rules change and school divisions vary. For help with your situation, contact PEATC (Virginia's Parent Training and Information Center), the VDOE Parent Ombudsman for Special Education, or a special education attorney or advocate.